I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
