Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
