In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My life is pants optional.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize