just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize