the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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