Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize