You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
