so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
that's an acceptable place to lick
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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