i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
