its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I got inside last night via doggy door
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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