He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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