ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
