I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
