Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
