Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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