I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
