so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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