i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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