All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize