we have officially lost it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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