One girl and one boy is just not enough.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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