You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
