i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
