Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize