hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
