have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
