dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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