he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize