Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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