is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
