Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
