oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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