Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize