i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
