Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just gift wrapped bread.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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