Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
