I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
two words...techno handjob
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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