i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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