Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize