I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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