i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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