She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
