She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize