if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
