when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
