i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
