yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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