i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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