What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize