you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
