We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
