Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
