He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
