Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong

Fav 6 1044 3084
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(510): View more from California

I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.

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(256): View more from Alabama

One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

Fav 38 1752 5381
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.

Fav 4 3255 1113
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.

Fav 9 1049 3856
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(406): View more from Montana

WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

Fav 4 1051 549
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(609): View more from New Jersey

he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.

Fav 1 78 25
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