I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
