im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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