dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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