so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
