I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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