i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
