Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
