I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
