Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
