the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
