I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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