And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
