the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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