u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
