Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
